It had been too long, really, since my most recent trip to Carmel and across Ms Specht's knee, and at every turn I had fabricated for myself excuses and reasons not to do it. This time in June though, things aligned the right way, and here I was, making contact again and setting up the appointment.
At the door, Ms Specht greeted me with the warmth and care that we have come to love, and also she was kind enough to mention how really it has been a long time of no-see. This is enough to put one in a "feeling guilty" mindset, however this time I was bringing with me my own kind of guilt feelings. What and why might have caused these for me it does not matter, each of us have our own set of criteria and reasons and this is not the time to dwell on those - the reason that I mention these however is that this time, probably for the first time in a conscious and measured way, the end result was a realization of expiation.
I followed Ms Specht into the spanking room. Dear readers, you might be familiar with the ritual and the environment yourselves, or you might have read the writings on this site already - so no need to review the array of spanking tools and implements that were already on display and ready for use. What matters though is that during correspondence and earlier conversation I did manage to tell Ms Specht some of my recent doings and thoughts, and properly so she decided both that whatever course of actions that brought my confessions were deserving of thorough correction, and that no time should be wasted.
So, if you think that getting your bottom spanked thoroughly and bright red stands for punishment, then very well, you are right I am sure. This time, however, I have discovered for myself what punishment can be: it starts with time in the corner: silent, nose in, arms behind one's back, waiting - for how long? An eternity it felt, and then my dues came too early, so it felt: being scolded for fun or role playing is one thing, and getting scolded for actual misdeeds is another altogether, and brings one to a repenting state of mind quite easily. Which is what I got, a good scolding, and not ashamed to say it: almost brought tears, too.
The hands, always source of misdeeds: I received the strap from Ms Specht, hard, I don't know how many times each, across the palms of the hands, and when I drew back in pain, of course, extra came.
The spanking chair: when ordered to lay across here knees as soon as Ms Specht sat down in her spanking chair, I supported myself with my palms on the floor. I can still feel the heat and the unbearable sting right now - resting your weight like that on freshly strapped palms is a punishment on its own.
The spanking: as far as I can remember, never before have I felt like it, and it might be true that: a). we tend to remember poorly those things that hurt us, and b). that as spankos, we tend to like it better having been spanked, rather than being spanked at the moment. No matter, one of the thoughts that I remember is that I was grateful when Ms Specht asked me to hand her a wood implement from those arrayed on the floor in front of my nose: good, I said to myself, thank Goodness that at least she won't use her bare palm on my bottom anymore, it hurts too much! Right, that was no respite though, as many implements are available, and either bare palm on bottom or a variety of brushes and paddles, the result is that if you are in a guilty frame of mind you are going to feel them right deep and to the bone, and with no mistake that is how i felt all throughout the spanking.
Straps, paddles, and brushes. Canes and lashes. No matter, all you want is that it ends, and please, let me go, I will be good, and I won't do it again! Sure, however only Ms Specht knows when you have been punished, and the time came for me too, to hear that my punishment is now over. With love and caring MS Specht helped bring back down to Earth, the way that she only knows how to.
Leaving the house and heading back to whatever it is that makes me go through this world, one thought came clearly to me: this time, Ms Specht helped me understand and get it through my head that "punishment" is not another word fro "spanking fun."